Wondering
by wisher93
Summary: Post Stan By Me. Marshall thinks he could have saved Mary from the kidnapping. He wants to know what happened to Mary, but she isn't ready to tell him. Can he get her to open up or will her stubborness get in the way? R&R. Rated high for safety.


I do not own In Plain Sight or characters. This is my first fanfic. I hope you like it!

Wonder

* * *

The day after Mary was found in the basement, Marshall brought her in for her statement. She sat at the table in a position she never thought she would be in. _You are the victim_ kept repeating in her mind. Marshall sat on her left side sharing concerned glances with Stan, who stood by the window. Marshall and Stan were wondering about what could have happened if they didn't get to her when they did. Only Mary knew what was about to happen to her, and she was not ready to let anyone know, especially Marshall.

"Mary, please tell me what happened," Marshall pleaded.

_What would he think of me? I couldn't protect myself and look what almost happened._

"I…I… Marshall please…**stop**."

"Why can't you tell me? Is it because I was supposed to protect you? I am… I was your partner. I clearly don't deserve to be, I mean look what happened. What if I would have gotten there to late…what if…?" Marshall couldn't finish.

Marshall stood up and ran out of the room. He couldn't bear that thought. _I can't believe it. I no longer deserve to be her partner. How could I have let this happen?_

As her partner ran out of the room Mary was shocked. _How could he think this was his fault? I can't loose him as a partner. He is the reason I didn't die._

"Stan I.."

"Go Mary."

She called Marshall. She called him five times in the first two minutes after he left, hoping, praying that he would answer. She drove to his house. He was gone. She left him a note.

_Marshall I need you. Please. I need to see your smile. I need you to tell me that everything will be okay. Without you I am nothing. I need you to help me through this. I can only get better with you by my side. Call me or come see me. **God Marshall,** **I need you. **Please._

Mary went back to her office defeated and refused to talk to anyone. The feds were no exception. She claimed Marshall was missing and that he was her first priority. This, she figured, was absolutely true.

Marshall came home week later. He found the note Mary left for him. The words made no sense to him. _How could she need me? I almost got her killed! _He walked into the kitchen and threw the now crumpled note onto the table. He stood with his hands on the counter looking out the window when he heard a noise behind him. He pulled his gun from its position on his belt. He raised it and whirled around.

"Jesus Marshall, if you wanted me dead you didn't have to come save my sorry ass," Mary Joked.

"Damn it Mary. How can you joke about this? I just about shot you in the forehead" Marshall Exclaimed. "Why are you in my house?"

"Fine. Sorry I guess I…I...I…" Mary couldn't finish as she ran out of his house.

Mary had barely gotten to her car before she felt arms around her. She had tears running down her face. This was all new to Marshall. Mary Shannon, his ass-busting partner never, ever cried.

"Mary…"

"I'm so sorry. I had no right to be in you house it's just…."

"What Mary?"

"I didn't know where you were. Do you know how hard that was? I thought I was going to die in that basement. Then you come and save me like my knight in shining armor and you… you... disappear. It was comforting to be with part of you when I couldn't be with you."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Absolutely nothing. I ran away because I could not bear the thought that if I would have been with you I would have been able to protect you. How could I be your partner if I don't know if I can protect you? How could you live with that?"

"Marshall there was no way you could have stopped it from happening. And you did more than protect me, you saved me. You saved me from something that I could hardly save myself from. I could have died if you didn't find me. Marshall you are my savior."

"I am sorry Mary. Please come back inside. We can get through his together. You and me."

"Ok. But can we watch a movie?"

"Sure, sounds like a plan" Marshall decided.

Mary picked out one of her favorites. It was a chick flick that she had gotten him a few years ago. He didn't catch the title; he was to busy thinking of a way to get her to open up about what happened. He looked up at her and noticed something.

"Mary, are those my cloths?"

"Uhh...yeah..sorry."

She got up and it looked like she was going to go change.

"It's okay. Don't be sorry" Marshall assured her. He pulled her back down next to him.

"I needed something to change into and they smell good." She gave one of her genuine smiles.

"That's because I wash them every so often." He chuckled.

"No, that's not it. They smell like you," She whispered.

She was looking at her feet feeling embarrassed. He put his fingers under her chin and lifted it up so he was looking into her eyes.

"That's not a bad thing. I can live with that." He smiles at her, getting a smile in return.

Half way through the movie, she had her head resting on his shoulder and her hand on his lap. He started playing with her fingers. He figured she didn't notice when she didn't respond so he continued. His finger tips moved from her palm to the tip of hers. She suddenly got the courage and entwined her fingers in his.

"Mary?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You want to know." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"Please. I was wondering. If you're not ready, I understand."

"Uhh…okay. I want to tell someone. That someone I want to be you. I, uh, was talking on my phone. Two men came from nowhere. One put a rag over my mouth. It had something on it that knocked me out. I woke up sitting in a chair with my hands cuffed above me. I was alone in a basement. I looked down and realized I still had my gun. I realized now was not the time to use my gun. When the door unlocked I put it back hoping to have the chance to use it later. A man I never saw before came down. He had Chuck. The men who kidnapped me thought I was Brandy. Chuck told him I was not. He gave them a number to a disposable phone they had. (505)555-0199. He called it to talk to Brandy, and told her to choose who he would shoot, me or Chuck. He shot Chuck."

She paused for a minute as a new thought registered in her mind. Sobs came from somewhere deep inside her chest.

"She could have chosen me. He could have shot me instead."

Marshall pulled her in tighter, reminding her she was indeed, not dead.

"She didn't, and you're alive. That is all that matters, at least to me."

He gave her a hug and urged her to continue.

"He said something to Brandy about meeting him at 11. If she didn't I would die next."

Marshall shuddered as he heard this. _Mary's sister wasn't good at following directions. Would the thought have gone through_ _Mary's mind that her sister might not show? _

"The man with the broken nose came down and told the man I was a US Marshal and that people were looking for me. Also that Brandy didn't show up. My own sister didn't care if I died as long as it saved her own ass. I thought I was going to be killed right then and there, but there weren't done with me yet."

When Mary paused, Marshall got a look on his face that could only be categorized as a smirk.

"Did you really break someone's nose?"

"Yeah."

"I _so_ knew it. Oh, sorry keep going."

"Marshall, that's it. That's all that happened."

"Mar, I know that's not it. We didn't find you the way you ended. Please. You can trust me."

" I...I don't want to talk about it. I trust you but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what you will think of me."

"Nothing you say could change how I think about you. Nothing in the whole world would make me care for you any less."

"The man that shot Chuck left and told the broken nose guy to finish the job, to clean up his mistake. He told me he wasn't a monster and that he wanted me to die happy. He…he…Marshall…he was going to f-force me to have s-s-sex. Marshall.."

This was all she could take for now. She once again had tears pouring down her face. Marshall was stunned. This beautiful, strong, smart woman he was holding was crumbling in his arms. The son-of-a-bitch tried to rape **his** Mary. He pulled her in close and brushed a piece of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear.

"Okay Mary. Shh shh shh, everything is gonna be okay." She looked up at him and wiped the tears from his eyes. Tears he didn't know were falling.

"Promise?"

"I promise you."

"Okay" she whispered.

"The man came up to me and had me turn around. I realized then that I could loosen the bolt and unchain myself if I kept turning. I needed to find time. He grabbed my waist and his hands worked there way up to my chest. Then he grabbed my shoulders and he-he licked my arm. He told me to not think I was too good for him because I am not. I asked him if I could turn around so I could look him in the eye. He let me. This was my chance. I smacked his head as hard as I could with mine and I started spinning. He picked up a shovel and just as he started to swing at me I was free. I grab for my gun and shot him five times. The other kidnapper came down and I shot at him, but I missed. He started shooting through the ceiling. I heard someone coming down the stairs so I picked up the shovel and I swung. I almost got Stan. As soon as I saw you I fell in your arms. Marshall I had never been so happy."

"Yeah, me neither."

"I mean, I never thought I would get to see your face again, hear you laugh, or hear any of that almost useless information you keep up there" Mary said gently touching his forehead.

Marshall smiled and got a half smile back from Mary. Marshall wondered how long Mary would be comfortable sitting the way she was in his lap. Her head was resting on his chest, and his left arm was wrapped around her back.

"Marshall, it's getting late."

"I know Mar. Want me to drive you home?"

"Sure."

"Okay, let's go."

Marshall slid an arm across Mary's back as they walked to the door. He walked Mary to her side and opened the door for her. He was surprised when she doesn't protest and that makes him worry. He shuts the door for her when she gets in and goes around to his side.

_I want to say something to her, anything to make her understand that I will do anything for her, but what do I say? _Marshall wonders.

"Mary, I will always be here for you. If you need anything at all call me. You can call me whenever."

"K"

The rest of the drive was silent. Mary sat with her head against the window. Marshall tried very hard to concentrate on the road, but he found himself looking at her every now and then. He never wanted to leave her alone again, never leave her side, but that is impossible. He knew it too.

They pulled into her driveway and she was immediately thankful her mom left the week before. There was no way she would put up with her mom right now. She didn't want to be alone, but it was better than having her mom as company.

Marshall turned off the car. Mary just sat there.

"Mar, want me to walk you in?"

"Okay."

Marshall walked around to her side and opened her door. He helped her to the door and brought her to the couch.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so."

"If you need anything just call."

"I will."

"I'll see you tomorrow Mary."

"Yep. Okay."

He hated doing it but Marshall took one more look at Mary and left. He had to go back to the office to help Stan find the Son-of-a-bitch that did this to her.

After four hours of hard work Stan told Marshall to go home to get some sleep.

"Stan, let me stay for awhile."

"Marshall, go home it's one in the morning. We have been working for hours. There is nothing else we can do tonight. Get some rest and you will be more helpful tomorrow."

"K, night."

"Night."

Marshall was halfway home when his phone rang. He looked and it was Mary.

"M-Marshall…"

"Mar, honey, what's wrong?" Marshall asked suddenly worried about his partner.

"M-Ma-Marshall, I..I killed someone tonight."

"Oh Sweetie, I am on my way. I will be there soon, okay?"

"O-Okay."

He pulled up to her house and ran to the door. He knocked and no one answered. He used the key Mary had given him when she moved in to get inside.

"Mary? Mary? Where are you?"

"Marshall." Her voice was something she didn't recognize. It sounded weak and defenseless.

He ran up the stairs two at a time. Her voice was coming from her room. She was lying in her bed under all the covers. She was balled up in the fatal position and all the lights were on. He saw that she had tears streaming down her face again. He bent down next to the bed and looked her in the eyes.

"Mar, why are you crying?"

"Because I don't know if I want to be alone. I don't even know if I can. I killed someone. He was just a kid. I took his life. I am no better than anyone else in my family"

"Oh Mary, you shot him because he tried to rape you. He was going to hurt you like that and then kill you. You had no choice. No one blames you. You are a wonderful person. I killed the other man. Stan shot him too, so I guess we all kiled someone."

This seemed to comfort her some. He pulled her into a hug and they sat there until she was done crying and he had a soaking shirt. He figured he should let her cry until she felt better.

"I'm sorry Marshall."

"Why are you sorry?" Marshall asked confused.

"I got your shirt wet."

"Oh honey, it'll dry."

"Marshall, are you going to leave?"

"I will go when you want me to" He replied simply.

"Marshall, please don't go. Stay with me please. Please."

"I will stay Mar. Whatever you need just ask because I will do it."

"What have I done to deserve so much? I have the most wonderful partner. I am so lucky."

"You deserve more than you know."

"Marshall…thanks for being here for me. You don't know how much it means to me."

"You would do the same for me."

"Marshall? Will you stay tonight? I am not ready to be alone. I am afraid that they might find me again."

"I will stay."

"Thanks," Mary said.

"Oh, and Mary?"

"Yes?"

"Mary, I need to tell you something. Something you need to know. I will never leave your side again unless you want me to. I will be your support as you are mine. I will die for you as long as you are safe from harm. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. Mary I love you. I think I knew this for a while, but almost loosing you made it unable to ignore. You might not love me, but I need you here with me more than you could know. I..."

Mary was shocked. Her Marshall, the man she loved, told her he loved her too. She started crying.

"I guess I should leave."

"Why? I mean I..I..I love you too Marshall! I don't want you to ever leave me again. I want spend my life with you."

"Can I kiss you?" Marshall asked.

"You don't need to ask."

Marshall moved one hand to Mary's lower back and the other one caressed her check. He leaned in half way and she moved the other half. There lips collided with passion and love. This is the one love they were both sure would last. This was what they both wanted, what they both needed.

"You know Marshall, everything I said in that letter is true. I do need you. I am glad you didn't give up on yourself… on me."

"It doesn't matter what I said. I would have been back eventually. I need you too much to stay away forever."

"Good."

He got on her bed on top of the covers and wrapped an arm around her. She relaxed at his touch.

"Thanks Marshall."

"For what?"

"For being here, for helping me, and for loving me too. You're here when I need you most."

"Of course. I need you and that is what you do when you love someone."

"Good night Marshall."

"Good night Mar."

"Marshall, I will see you in the morning right?"

"Of course you will."

"Marshall, I love you."

"Mary I love you more."

"No. I don't…I don't think so."

Marshall couldn't help but smile to see his Mary, the love of his life, already sleeping. He knew they could get through this and all the other hard things farther up the road, in the journey of their life together.

* * *

So how was it? Sorry for any mistakes. I did my best. Remember to error is human. To forgive is devine.


End file.
